"TOUR TALES” OR WHAT NOT TO LEAVE BEHIND

“Wait! We gotta go back! I forgot my wooby!,” said no serious touring musician EVER. OK, that’s not completely true but it should be. Just getting to tour takes a lot of grunt work (see previous entries).  In order to have a successful tour the band needs to run like a machine and that means a tour manager. This position can be separate and distinct from the band or a job assigned to one particular band member. Either way, there’s a ton to think about. So I talked with some of my touring musician friends and let them do the thinking for me:

HAVE A PLAN

With well over 100 out of town shows a year, touring musician, John Taglieri (left) has things down to a sweet science. Touring is not a fun road trip with your buddies. It’s a business trip, only you’re not accountable to some home office, you have to live up to the standards you set. “Have a plan,” says Taglieri. “Cover the basics, food, sleep, set up, play.”

Plan when to stop for gas – so the van doesn’t make that decision for you. Plan where to sleep and what to eat.  The less surprises the better. “Make a driving schedule and make sure everyone sees it. That way you know when you can sleep it off and when you need to be alert.” Have the name, address, and contact information for the venues, hotels, promoters, etc. Have their websites and calendars bookmarked. And most importantly – know when load in and sound check are. “Load in can be your first impression on a venue. Don’t screw yourself by being late or disorganized.”

Aside from getting the gigs and having a plan to conquer the world if not a simple invasion of a handful of cities along the nearest major highway, there are some personal items a touring entertainer should not be without. Matt Santoro of Super Bob says, “I don’t go anywhere without a weapon or three.” With security taken care of, here are 5 things other touring entertainers found invaluable while on tour.

1.    GET THERE (GPS): There are many GPS programs and apps. Some will get you there. Some will get you lost. Everyone thinks theirs is better than yours. Designate one everyone agrees to follow. It will avoid confusion and infighting. My own GPS is a British dominatrix I call Mistress. She says “When possible, make a U turn.” and I comply.

2.    KEEP GOING (Have a really good car kit): Don’t wait around for someone to give you a jump. Mentalist Jonny Zavont suggests, “Get something to jump yourself (gigity). Make sure it has enough power to jump a huge truck and you’ll always be good.” Be sure the things in the kit are working and accessible. Indie musician Oren Barak (right) made sure his touring van, named Tiny Elvis, had a spare tire and a jack. Unfortunately, both were held securely under the Ford E150, needing a special hex key to free them up. A key they had lost. “So there we were with a flat, a spare, a jack, and still waiting for roadside assistance.” Oh yeah, Get roadside assistance.

3.    GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY (outlet/USB splitters): “Having outlet splitters helps anywhere that outlets are prime currency,” says Jonny Zavont, “It’s also a great way to make new friends (and fans).” Oren Barak says, “Have splitters for both regular outlets and car outlets. That way everyone can charge their stuff and no one complains.”  Having outlet splitters means each band member won’t get a dozen calls from the drummer’s girlfriend because she can’t reach him because he ran his battery down collecting all Boba Fett jet packs in Angry Birds Star Wars.

When will car outlets just be USB ports? Or actual outlets for that matter?! Not even smokers use that outlet for cigarette lighter!

4.    SELF CATER (Hot Plate): Food can be the last thing on a budget but when

blood sugar drops, tempers go up, bands fight, they have a bad show, get a poor reputation, never get booked there again, have to take a job as back up guitar player for the Wiggles, get fired on the road for still being grumpy, and have to hitchhike back home, doing unspeakable things to truckers to pay their way. This common scenario can be avoided by eating sensibly every day.

Matt Santoro (left) appears mostly shirtless for every show and his female fans thank him.  But he can’t put on that show and not think about what he eats. “[Super Bob] grocery shops every day.” They stay in hotels so he’s able to cook for himself. John Taglieri says, “Avoid fast food. You feel like shit and if your job is to look good onstage, a double cheeseburger will do nothing but give you a double chin.” Oren Barak suggests having a few boxes of snack bars. “Hungry? Stuff a snack bar in their mouth and keep driving. Tiny Elvis stopped for no one but himself!”

5.    PUT THE LID ON (bring a hat): Even when living in the touring vehicle, a touring entertainer often wakes up in unfamiliar surroundings.  It’s easy to leave behind personal items, or waste travel time hunting for a St. Anthony necklace. While on a show choir tour in Europe, I once left behind a family item whose value would be apparent only to me. I didn’t realize it was missing until it was too late to go back. It was likely thrown out and I didn’t speak enough French to call and ask for their lost and found. I might still have it if I had a hat. Mentalist Jonny Zavont is never without a hat. “Put all your keys, sunglasses, phone, etc. inside it. That way you have it all in one place when you’re ready to get back on the road. You don’t have to hunt it all down. Just grab the hat and go.”

It’s not an exhaustive list. Its contents are not amaze-balls. But these items have been invaluable to the touring entertainers who’ve been there and back again. Help grow this list and share what you find to be invaluable while on the road at Q@QEntertainmentLaw.com.

A Musician’s Guide to Retirement: From Their Day Jobs

The secret to a successful music career is free, easily available, and most artists want nothing to do with it. That statement is surmised from many industry professionals sharing that the questions they get asked the most are music business basics. Without getting the basics, the dream of making a living doing playing music will remain a dream.

The best illustration of someone who learned the basics and continuously worked the steps like he was earning chips is singer/songwriter John Taglieri (J.T).  The current tally is 10 CDs selling over 20,000 copies and he hasn’t seen a day job since March 10, 2005. This New Jersey native resides just outside of Boston but spends every other month performing in Key West, FL.  When he’s home he either gigs locally and/or puts on his producer hat for clients he books in his studio. In this series of articles, I try to tap into his firsthand experiences in hopes of finally cracking the hard nut that is the human ego and to get more artists fruitfully working toward their own “retirement” from their day jobs. 

Put the Ego Back in the Box

At some point, every musician wonders why they’re not successful yet.  The answer is simple. “The simple things are the hardest…and I finally figured out what the problem was – me and my ego” said John Taglieri (Wiki).  Ego fuels the entertainment business but it is best served on stage. Off stage, artists need to make good business decisions. They can’t make good business decisions when their egos make all their choices.  “You just set yourself up for failure.”

John Taglieri’s shows make every bar and backyard he plays, a party. It’s a mix of known favorites and original music.  But he was once scoffed at by other bands for being ‘a cover guy.’ “I bought a ticket played The Rock Boat for 8 or 9 years just jamming everywhere i could and meeting people.” Many artists have a chance to get booked on land gigs after performing on the Rock Boat. “But a lot of guys didn’t take them because covers were beneath them. I always say yes.  And the way I can do that is to put my ego away.” Now those bands who passed on the gigs he took are asking him for advice on gigging so much. “There was just a lot of work between then and now that their ego just didn’t want to do.”

J.T is the first person to say that he’s not the world’s greatest musician. But he is very successful and very good at what he does. “I do what I need to do.  If anyone does what they need to do, eventually they can get what they want.” Don’t wait for the easy path to come down from the sky, light up with a giant arrow pointing the way to a new tour bus driven by Clive Davis. That doesn’t even happen in Spinal tap. 

Wanna Retire? Work For It.

Put the work in where the want is. If the majority of thought and effort goes into getting a good annual 360 review for that coveted 2% raise, then it’s not going towards playing music. Ozzy Osbourne used to pack his gear and wait outside clubs in case a band canceled and his band could play. Harrison Ford was a carpenter on a movie set before he was Han Solo. Follow their lead and get involved in the business. 

Although he wanted to be a touring musician, he left a full time day job to work 3 days a week touring with a sound company.  It wasn’t exactly what he wanted but it was in the business and gave him a chance to use all that schooling in audio engineering.  But that left 4 days a week he could use to work on his music while keeping a hand in the business and making connections the other 3 days. The better he got getting music gigs, the less he needed his sound gig. “So I got my boss to fire me. I never looked back.”

It should be noted that J.T is a solo artist and plays with a band for select gigs. Is it easier to set off on a musical adventure for a solo musician than a group act? “Nope. A group means more people are working towards the goal.” Everyone in the band should have a job. A real job. A band related job. Assign jobs to each band member: booking, promotion, finance, etc. No one is above the grunt work. 

“The practices I use are Business 101.” While playing music to crowds is addictive and the party life is really the fun it’s made out to be, those are for the ego. Success in the music business is the science (yes – science!) of selling. Sell your product. “And find a way to outsell everyone else.” Don’t worry about fame or being a big rock ‘n roll star, that’s just ego. Leave the id on stage. 

When ego is finally put aside, you can finally do the work you need to do to get where you want to go. Then artists can finally retire to their own little paradise. 

[Watch this spot for a continuing talk with John Taglieri and his Tips for touring and why Sweet 16 parties rock more than bars with Goldschlager ice slide.]